Tuesday, September 15, 2015

What to do when you feel you have no faith left



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1 Peter 5:10-11 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

I think it is rather easy to give advice and counsel on “how” to suffer and go through trials AFTER we have made it through one.  We like to show our battle scars and tell others how they will “make it” and that they “just need to have faith”. 

Personally, when I am going through something, I have to be honest, I don’t want anyone’s cliché statements, nor do I want to hear how they made it through their own tough times.  I just want them to listen to me as I work things out in my own mind. 

Today as I write this post I am carrying several heavy, heavy burdens.  As I wept at the kitchen sink I asked myself, “Sheri, where is your faith?”  My response was, “I don’t think I feel or have any today.”  I feel like the man in the New Testament who asked Jesus to help his unbelief. 

For the most part I think being a missionary is easy.  I enjoy it.  I love other cultures, I love the complications and hurdles that speaking another language present because they are a challenge to overcome.  I like having challenges.  I like the feeling of being pressed to act in spite of my weakness.  But every now and then Faith stands up and punches me in the face and reminds me that I am to be living by It.  Missions and Faith are inseparable.  I get so good at figuring out the hard things in ministry and living abroad that I can forget to exercise plain old faith.

Today I am being reminded by Faith and she has given me a black eye. 

So, do I just sit down and cry?  I want to.  I want to go to my room, get under the covers and weep.  But, Amelia and Sam are watching me.  Should I teach them that tears are better than prayer?  Mark has to preach tomorrow.  He is tired from building the house, yet he is sitting at the table going through receipts, doing paperwork and persevering.  Should I add to his burdens and be a weak wife?  What do I do?  What will you do when it is your turn to have faith?

Cry if you must, but don’t stay there.  Get up.  Go outside and look up at that sky where you see living proof of your Creator and talk to Him.  Tell Him everything you are feeling and tell Him you cannot make it if He doesn’t help you.  Tell Him you need help with your unbelief.  And then live the next 5 minutes in that faith.  Then when it is used up and the weight sinks your heart again, go talk to God again.  By the end of the day, you will have exercised your faith.  And just like with bodily exercise, you will feel the effects, you will feel depleted, but strong.  You will know that you have done all you can possibly do to leave everything with the Lord. 

It is an absolute impossibility for me to fix my problems today.  There is absolutely no answer.  But I will rise up and talk to God and not let them overcome me.  If I do, then I will repent and try again tomorrow.  Those mercies are new every morning for a reason….we need them.  If you are reading this today and you are down, look around, you have company.  We are NOT alone in our struggles.  God is very present and He has not left us to suffer without cause.  All that sadness and despairing is helping to strengthen us, establish us, settle us and perfect us, why?  Finish the next verse, it is so that He may be glorified.  Isn’t He worth your tears?  He is so abundantly good to us and we deserve a lot worse than what we are going through.  So let Him get some glory while He works in your life. 

Until next time, Lord willing,

Sheri

1 comment:

  1. Praise the Lord! He always knows just what I need to hear, and He uses His faithful servants to give the answer!

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