What to do when you are Desperate.

Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt that your circumstances were the definition of desperation?  Do you know how it feels to stand in the shower while the hot water shoots down and you wonder why God has even left you alive? You don’t feel of any worth to anyone and there is no light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. You stare at a wall while the world goes on around you and you don’t know how to snap out of it.  You go to church on Sunday morning and Sunday night.  You are in your pew on Wednesday night or serving in a children’s club.  You sing in the choir, you shake hands and smile.  You do it all over again week after week, and yet your heart remains desperate.  

Speaking from experience, I can attest to the fact that these desperate times are excruciating.  I think the heart pain of suffering quietly can be devastating to a Christian.  How can we even begin to describe what the bottom feels like?  If you are reading this and you have been there, you know the weight of sadness that comes from these times.  I don’t like them do you?  What are we supposed to do when God allows these times?  What if they are brought on due to consequences of sin (whether ours or another’s)?  What should we do when we are desperate? 

I say we should look at the only place we will find a truthful answer.  People will give you their opinions, their judgement, their jokes and their sarcasm, but what you need is the Truth.

In James 4 God asks us a question, answers it for us and then points to the way OUT of desperation.

The Question:  From whence come wars and fightings among you? 

All the questioning, fighting and dissatisfaction inside you, where is it coming from?  Take the time to figure it out.  Put your finger on what is going on inside of you.

The Answer:  come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 

You are seeking the answer about your desperation on your own and IN your own flesh.  You are really not looking to God, so the only result will be further defeat and confusion.  But God doesn’t leave us in this misery, He offers and points to the way out.  It is up to us to head in that direction!

The Way Out: But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. 

It all comes down to the truth.  You have to tell it.  You have to agree with God that you are nothing without Him.  Even if these moments are the worst you have ever lived through, agree with Him about your situation.  You can't make it without him.  If you know there is sin and don’t try and smooth it over.  Tell the truth!  Your sorry self is rotten to the core and if you could you would end your life or the person’s life that is causing you all the heartache. Admit you have a vice, whatever yours is and name it.  Come clean with the LORD.  He already knows, but He wants you to see yourself for what you are, destitute and desperate.  Then, and only then, can you take advantage of the way out.  Grace.

1. It is through the unmerited favor of God that He will lift us up off the bottom and begin filling us with LOVE.  Love for Him for putting us in the fire.  Love for the situation bringing us to this point.  Love for the one who betrayed us.  Love for the one who hurt us.  Love for ourselves.  He will lift us up and fill us with joy.  Marriages can actually be happy again.  Ministry can be enjoyed again.  Looking in the mirror can be done again.  

2. He will lift us up and fill us with PEACE. We can calmly face a new day.  We love Him, we know He loves us and there is peace for the next step.  Marital battleground that once held strife and war can be calmed.  Ministry can become smooth again.  You can sleep again.

3. He will lift us up and fill us with LONGSUFFERING.  We are no longer in a hurry to "get through" the darkness, but rather walk with Him at His pace.  We will become patient with our mate as they too grow in grace.  We will forbear those in the ministry that try us at every turn.  We will be willing to do what it takes to grow inwardly in grace as it abounds more than our sin did.  Don't you hear the echo of Job's voice?  "the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD"

4. He will lift us up and fill us with GENTLENESS.  Our marriages can be lived morally, correctly and in kindness towards each other.  Our ministries can be led by truth and in excellence.  We can live right in this grace and filling of the Spirit.  We will overcome our wrong habits by being filled with the desire to live differently.

5. He will lift us up and fill us with GOODNESS.  Lives and marriages that were once filled with hatred and mud slinging can have relationships full of gladness and good words.  Our ministries once fraught with paranoia and manipulation can become a service to the King with a pureness of holiness.  Our lives once held in bondage can be lived correctly.

6. He will lift us up and fill us with FAITH.   We will take a deep steady breath in life, setting our faces like a flint towards the future. We will have faith in our marriage.  We will be faithful in the ministry because we want to, not out of duty.  We will have faith every day that God is in control and CAN keep us filled with what will maintain our lives within HIS will and not our own.

7. He will lift us up and fill us with MEEKNESS.  We will not desire to have our needs met, but we will want to meet the needs of others.  We will not seek public affirmation, but we will bow down so God can get the glory. 

8. He will lift us up and fill us with TEMPERANCE.  We will find that through HIS grace we can behave with self control.  We will serve Him in our ministries with a calm fortitude of doing what is right and rejecting that which is wrong.  We will be able to feel what it is like to live out of the bondage of our lusts and in the bondage of His love.

Are you desperate?  He can and will walk with you through this time.  The choice is completely and entirely up to you.  It may take you some days of tears to get to the point that you will finally drop every excuse and every weapon and all your anger, but when you get there, trust Him to supply you with what you need.  He can and will.

Until next time, Lord willing,

Sheri