What about Loneliness?

I imagine we all have felt lonely a time or two in our lives.  It isn’t anything we relish is it?  When young women come to me or write to me asking for advice on becoming a missionary, my heart is saddened for them because I know they will experience loneliness.  Whether USA based or foreign, missions is a lonely career.  I want to share something with you that I have learned about God while enduring loneliness so that the next time you are feeling alone, you can claim these promises with me.

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Here in this verse we find the Creator looking at His perfect creation and the care He has for us.  He knows man has HIM.  He knows man can walk and talk with HIM, but yet, God says it isn’t good for man to be……what?  Alone.

Let me make 3 statements that we MUST recognize before we go any further.

1. God knows our needs.

2. God cares about our needs.

3. God will supply and fill those needs.

It isn’t a sin to feel alone.  It is okay if you are having a day where you crave human fellowship or someone who understands.  You aren’t weird and it doesn’t mean you aren’t trusting God.  Loneliness is a human emotion that obviously was created inside of us and God saw that need in Adam and God filled it.

Ecclesiastes 4:8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.

Here we see Solomon warning against being alone because of selfishness.  If you have created your own little world that doesn’t let anyone in, then your loneliness is the price you pay for being selfish.  The attitude of not needing anyone or pushing away of sisters and brothers in Christ can stem from a childhood of abuse, or bad past relationships with a parent or spouse.  All of that points to a glaring sin of unforgiveness.

If you find yourself withdrawing from the world and church because of hurt, you need to examine your heart and see if there is someone you need to forgive.  I know, it is hard, but God doesn’t want us to seclude ourselves in pain that has been afflicted on us.  The first step towards the healing process is forgiveness.  Don’t shut yourself off from the fellowship that God KNOWS you need. 

Look at what Solomon says next:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

We all need someone around to help us when we have fallen, whether literally or figuratively.  We all need that helping hand. 

Yesterday, I was all alone for the entire day.  My youngest daughter was away at a youth retreat and my youngest son was working with his dad on our new house.  I had planned out my day and went about some cleaning when I received a text message from my oldest son who is a freshman in college.  The text read, “Mom, I wish you were here with me.”  I don’t have to tell you what those 8 words did to my heart.  The tears rushed to my eyes.  He was registering for college for the first time and was nervous doing it on his own.  Now, I know and you know, that these moments build character and strengthen our children to take those steps towards being an adult, but the mother in us who remembers their little faces the first few moments after they are born wants to rush to their side and help them in everything!  With tear blurred eyes I texted some encouragement to him and then I sat and cried for a good long while. 

I have a friend going through similar experiences and I messaged her to pray for me in that moment because she would understand the grief I was feeling.  She prayed all day for me.  Two are better than one.  I had to choose to not shut the world out.  Yes, you feel terrible that your weakness is exposed and that you need help, but we must not be selfish.  We must recognize we are created to need!  It helped me knowing my friend was praying.  It didn’t wipe away the ache in my heart, but it helped carry it.

It may be that you are widowed and the loneliness you are experiencing is one that I know nothing about personally.  But that doesn't negate the fact that God knows your aching heart for the one who traveled so long by your side.  Does God care about you and your heart?  Yes.  He shows GREAT care for the one who has lost a spouse.  He says in the Bible that we aren't to afflict the widow and that He will establish your borders.  That means He is your protector.  I believe He will provide for you in your hour of loneliness the same exact way He will provide for mine.  He isn't a respecter of persons, but He doesn't look kindly when folks mistreat the fatherless or the widow.  He hasn't left you alone and He can provide a friend for you that understands and can help you carry on in life.  No one fills the voids we have in our lives, but they can walk with us while we experience them.

Two are better than one.

In my next post we are going to look at our Saviour and how He handled being alone while He was a man here on earth.  Let’s get to know Him better so that we can live better!

Until next time, Lord willing,

Sheri