Can't Go Back in Time

When I first learned that my husband’s mother requested to live with us, I did not see how that could happen. There were several obstacles in the way but my husband and I, together, sought God’s face about the matter and I told God, “I do not want to do this. You know I work every day and cannot be with her in case she falls. Terry leaves and goes out of town for his work, and cannot be there either. I’m just not ready for this, BUT if this is your will, I relinquish MY way for your way.” We waited on God’s answer and friend, I lie not, God CHANGED MY HEART.  Many things happened during the next seven years of our lives, but God’s strength was EVER present. Grandma deserved the best after caring for our family in multiple ways for so long. God reminded me of that periodically when my emotions and nerves were cut with a sharp edge and I felt I would lose my mind! I never had a cross word with her and am thankful but it was not easy. Nothing is easy is it? 

Sometimes we look at getting older as a curse and burden, but friend, it is a blessing and not necessarily for us but for those around us. Maybe, we need “just a little bit longer” to acquire what God is trying so desperately to teach us and others?

Ps 90:9-10 For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told. The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

You may be 70 years old as I will be soon, or older or perhaps you are much younger, but life is shorter than you think, wouldn’t you agree? You can't go back in time. Look at your children, your grandchildren and maybe for you, your great grandchildren.  Where has the time gone?  It is never too late to prepare for some things and this journey of knowing God is one area that will be constant until your last breath. So, kick back, and learn, having patience for those following you as you now have the privilege of caring for an aging parent.

Laugh a lot.  You just have to let go, lean back and let the laughter begin.  Grandma (Terry’s mom but we called her Grandma for the children’s sake) was so funny and didn’t know it. She would take her cane and come across our back side thinking she was teasing, but sometimes it hurt, but we laughed. It is good for them to laugh with you. They live in your home but miss their own home, their own bedroom and their husband of many years. It is tough for them as they adjust in YOUR home.  Sit down and let them reminisce even if you have heard it more times than you like to remember yourself, and laugh when they think they have told a funny story. Laugh when you want to cry. Trust me, it WILL help. My husband often remembers as a small boy, the times his mom sacrificed her time for him, listening to him tell a story while the dishes and laundry were put on hold. Back then, you just couldn’t push a few buttons either to get the dishes and laundry going!

Get over it!  We came home one evening and saw that every squash plant had been picked. My husband was furious but by the time we got up to the house and walked into the kitchen, we knew Grandma had plans for supper. Every squash was cut up and placed in the pots but there was no Grandma. She was asleep and remembered nothing.  So, get over it. We did, but we did not forget the many times from previous years after a busy day in school of the pots left at our front door full of rice with a special roast and some vegetables. We knew Grandma had left supper for us.

Get your carpet cleaned periodically. Grandma was forever spilling something, especially coffee. She had to fill her cup to the top and if we didn’t catch her, she would drip it all the way to the table or down the hall. I still see those spots. They cannot be removed, but neither can the memory of Grandma leaving a bag of Maxwell House coffee at my front door while I tried to figure out “how” we were going to afford coffee for the next week. Hmmnnn….I wonder how she knew? When I approached her about it, she would say, “A little birdie told me that you needed coffee and Winn Dixie was running a sale.” I think God was that little birdie! I cannot even remember how many times I have found a box, or a bag and sometimes loads of groceries left at my front door by this little birdie!

Don’t complain to others. Tell God or your spouse and shut your mouth or else you will miss the blessing!  It is human nature to complain, so don’t yield to human nature but yield to God’s nature through the Holy Spirit who lives in you to do the impossible. It takes a lot to NOT complain. I am the worst and I must confess that I have learned this the hard way. Your goal should be, “No regrets” but if you have some, don’t complain about that either. Let it go, and keep moving in this path of getting to know God better. None of us are perfect. Tell yourself, “I’m not perfect but God is and God lives in me.” You may have to ask where He is at those times, but that is ok…….Just get up and start over, today. You cannot go back in time. You will only slow down your efforts to move more quickly in Him, TODAY.

Until next time, Lord willing…

Sharon